When you look at your reflection in the mirror, do you think you are beautiful? Sometimes I think I look ‘ok’, and often I don’t. Very, very occasionally I think I am almost pretty! And some days I won’t even look at all!

But…

God says I am beautiful. Not when I’ve got loads of makeup on, or have just been on holiday and am rested or have caught the sun. First thing in the morning when I’m in the middle of a stressful week, when I haven’t showered in a couple of days, I’m wiping sleep out of my eyes and my hair is a mess! He says I am beautiful. He says you are too.

And God doesn’t lie.

In Isaiah 62:3 he says:

“You will be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord. A royal diadem in the hand of your God.”

A diadem is a beautiful jewelled crown or headband worn as a symbol of sovereignty. That’s us in God’s hand. Beautiful, valuable, precious and carrying the authority and power of the greatest King of all.

There is so much pressure in this world to look a certain way. When I first started writing this (quite a few months ago!), I got side tracked ranting about news headlines I was not impressed by. I mean, how is a celebrity choosing not to wear a bra under her clothes news? How does a TV interview with a world darts champion get a newspaper headline that draws attention to the presenter’s breasts rather than the achievement of the new world champion?

Media and social media perpetuate this idealised image that many girls and women try (and mostly fail) to live up to. Our every item of clothing, our every piece of cellulite, skin blemish, wrinkle, grey hair, our bra size, belly fat, the shape of our nose – it all seems to be up for discussion… and improvement. We are being groomed to aspire to look like these beautiful, often photoshopped women we see on Instagram, or made to feel inadequate for failing to meet these unrealistic standards.

In Australia, a news outlet had to apologise after doctoring a photo of a female MP, enlarging her breasts and ‘sexing up’ her dress by turning it into a crop top and skirt. Why would you do that? What was wrong with her as she was?

Nothing. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. She is beautiful. Just as she is.

Like most of us, I’ve been sucked in. Maybe not to the point of crash dieting, wearing loads of makeup or contemplating plastic surgery, but I’ve struggled to accept the way I look or acknowledge my personality might actually be ok too. I’ve purchased tooth whitener, although never used it. I’ve prayed for bigger boobs as a flat-chested teenager. I’ve had years and years of not being able to take a compliment, of responding with “No I’m not,” or “Don’t be silly.” Each time I am accusing not only the person complimenting me of lying, but also Sovereign God who calls me beautiful, who says I am perfect: I am calling him a big, fat liar!

So over the last few years, often through gritted teeth, I’ve tried accepting compliments and worked on believing what God tells me is true. I’ve repented for not believing him, for thinking I know better, that I’m a better judge of beauty than he is. I am on a journey and I still have moments, but I encourage you to embark on that same journey and start believing that you are beautiful.

Throughout time, people have been using music to express their love. Whatever your musical tastes, there’s no denying beauty is a strong theme in love songs. There’s Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison, Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars, When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Woman by Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show, You’re Beautiful by James Blunt, Perfect by Ed Sheeran… it goes on.

There’s even a love song in the Bible! And guess what? It talks about beauty!

King Solomon with all his wisdom, and all his riches, sang a love song to his bride, praising her beauty. To us in 2024 the lyrics might seem a bit weird, but there is significant truth behind these strange lyrics regarding the beauty God sees in us.

Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”

Song of Solomon 6:4-5 “You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling, as lovely as Jerusalem, as majestic as troops with banners. Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.”

Last year I ran an activity with my Sunday School kids where I sent them on a scavenger hunt to find something beautiful outside. One child took a photo of mushrooms. Did all the children agree they were beautiful?  No. We are all unique and we all find different things beautiful.

Solomon found Tizrah and Jerusalem beautiful – Tizrah was the most important city (like the capital) of the northern part of the kingdom, and Jerusalem the most important city in the south. Solomon was extravagant in his building programme, building magnificent cities, the likes of which had never been seen before. The temple and the palace he built in Jerusalem were lavish, using only the best of materials. Visitors came from from around the world to marvel and praise. These were the jewels in his crown, the cream of the crop.

So imagine your husband / partner said you were as beautiful as his two favourite places in the entire world – you are as beautiful as the Caribbean and as lovely as the Maldives for example…. What if his favourite places in all the world were Birmingham and London?! For Solomon, his cities and his armies were things of great beauty. Throughout history, world leaders have held military displays and bannered parades of military troops marching in honour of their leader, like at the coronation or funeral of a monarch, or to show the nation’s might to world. As bizarre as it sounds, comparing the girl he loved most in the world to the things he most valued was an amazing complement!

“My darling, you are as beautiful as Tirzah, as lovely as Jerusalem, as awe-inspiring as bannered armies!”

You could see this love-song as an early version of social media – painting a picture of someone so beautiful and desirable that it sets a standard that cannot be achieved by the likes of you and me, someone so drop-dead gorgeous that we can’t relate to. A love story we can only dream of. But the Bible points us towards Jesus. We can see him throughout scripture – right through the Old Testament and front and centre in the New. If Solomon’s love song points us towards Jesus, it must give us a glimpse of how Jesus feels about us. We may all be different, but God sees every single one of us as beautiful. We are that gorgeous, stunning bride the singer can’t get enough of, who compares favourably to the things he is most proud of and wants to show off to the world. We are perfect, just as we are.

The week I prepared a session on beauty for our kids’ groups, a massive ugly zit explosion took place on my face for the first time since I was a teenager (a long, long time ago). I was living what I was writing – I didn’t feel beautiful, I didn’t think I looked beautiful, but God was telling me I am beautiful and no amount of zits could change that. God wanted me to see myself as he saw me – not just my physical appearance but all of me, me as a person, me as his beloved.

Sometimes we think we can never be beautiful because there is so much ugliness in us – perhaps shame or guilt for things in our past. Picture for a moment a beautiful landscape. Now imagine the same landscape with an ugly power plant in the middle of it, or a pile of rubbish.

Perhaps you’ve bought a house with a beautiful view, only to have developers come and put a brand new housing estate right in the middle of it.

That’s like us – that beautiful, perfect view that God created, spoiled with sin, disappointment, self-sufficiency, pride, hurt and more.

But because of what Jesus did on the cross, when God looks at us, no matter what powerplants, junk or housing estates have cropped up in the middle of our beauty, God looks us and finds us beautiful. Despite all our mess, we are a crown of beauty in his hands.

Think for a moment of the one time when a woman wants to look her most beautiful? You probably just thought of her wedding day. God talks about the church as the Bride of Christ. You and I are the church. His bride. He sees us – men and women, boys and girls – as a bride on her wedding day, looking her most beautiful, happiest, radiant. No other woman in the room can compare with her – stunningly beautiful, dressed in pure, radiant white. That’s you and me!

In the film 27 dresses, the main character, Jane is asked what is her favourite part of a wedding. She answers: “Oh that’s easy. You know when the music starts and the bride makes her big entrance and everybody turns to look at her? That’s when I look at the groom. ‘Coz his face says it all, you know. Pure love.”

Have a look at this Youtube clip of a groom waiting for his bride as she comes down the aisle:

If a bride walking down the aisle can generate that sort of response in another human, imagine how father God feels when he looks at us – his bride.

In that moment, a groom doesn’t see the stress that’s gone into getting to that day, the ugly arguments over the seating plan, the dozens of attempts to find the perfect dress, the last minute disaster with the mascara… he sees his beautiful bride who he has chosen to spend his life with.

When God looks at us, he doesn’t see our flaws, the rollercoaster we’ve been on to this point, our disagreements with him, our wrestles with him for control, our shame, our guilt, or sin… he looks at us and sees his beautiful, gorgeous bride.

That’s who we are. When God says we are beautiful, that is what he sees – us at our very best – his perfect bride.

Just think about the variety and beauty of the sunrise (or the sunset of you aren’t a morning person). If God puts that much creativity and beauty into the sky and says it is good, how much more creativity and beauty has he put into us who he says are “very good?” (Genesis chapter 1).

And if you still think you’re too messed up to be beautiful, then think again. The Japanese have an art form: kintsukuroi – which means to repair with gold. It is the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

Whatever has gone on in our lives, however messed up, damaged, or rubbish we feel, we are more beautiful for having been broken and repaired thanks to what Jesus did for us on the cross.

So don’t let anyone tell you that you’re ugly, just passable, not pretty enough, not clever enough, not tall enough, not slim enough, not good enough… not enough. And don’t do that to yourself either. Jesus calls you a crown of beauty – a royal diadem. A Miss World crown pales in comparison. All the achievements in the world pale in comparison. You have his approval, his attention, his love. Just as you are. Perfect.

If this article has touched on something in your life, I would like to encourage you to ask for prayer from someone you trust. Jesus came to bring freedom from sin, shame, guilt and hurt, and wants you to walk in that freedom and discover your true, beautiful identity – the person he made you to be and sees you as.